Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
You stuck the head of a rubber chicken you found in her house up your ass and then started running around her living room. Naked.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
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