He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
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