I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
