Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I could fuck to npr.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
Randomize
