TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
They had some plan b on the table between the beer and the guacamole. Yeah, it's gonna be a fun party.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
Randomize