just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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