we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Stop studying come to the bar get drunk and help me figure out how to get home pretend there are commas in there someplace
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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