i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Meeting his dad and brother for the first time at the jail while I'm bailing him out ISN'T exactly how I pictured this relationship going....
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Randomize
