i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
