And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Found your dick twin last night
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Randomize
