so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
You just get me....like our souls are boning in the spirit world
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
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