To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
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