He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
What I wanna know is who took a picture eiffel towering her?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Just found a pack of birth control on the corner of Oakland and Thomas, so if your desperate its up for grabs.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Dude, you got arrested and then texted 911 to tell them you'd been kidnapped with a screenshot of your current location.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
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