So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Dude I just witnessed a midget touching himself and singing the chorus to somebodys watching me by michael jackson... it kinda turned me on
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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