ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
Also you know what's worse than drunk texting? Drunk leaving soup on your hot neighbor's porch.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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