i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
I'm sobbing to NWA
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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