If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
WHY ARE THERE SO MANY BURPS IN MY SMALL, INCREDIBLY ATTRACTIVE BODY
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
My roommate has a sixth sense about my jerking off and walks in EVERY. SINGLE. TIME.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
