hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
