Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Getting my nails done with Diana... I'm going for the keep your friends close and the girl who's dating the guy you want to fuck closer
Why did I just find out you and Andrew had sex right next to my face when I passed out on the beach?
At the time it seemed romantic and its also extremely frowned down upon to leave a passed out person by themselves in an unfamiliar place.
Why did I wake up by myself then?
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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