no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
