its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
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