Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
They're letting me teach a freshman-laden class now. This university needs better background checks.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize