I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
The fact that I am sitting home writing a resume while you're out inducing vomiting makes me feel like way more of an adult than I'm ready to be.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
I'm sorry I keep having sex wth your friends. I'm done, for real. Unless cole is interested. Other than that, I'm done.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
he's annoying when i'm sober but vaguely hot when i'm drunk so yes i do have a preference and it goes by the name of vodka
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize