If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
he accidentally used the toothbrush i use to induce my bulemia...i feel like this is something he shouldnt find out...
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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