it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
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