before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Randomize
