so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Wearing a french maid costume for Halloween sure did help me meet girls
Dude, they all thought you were gay.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
in other news i got caramel vodka poured on me. upside, i smell amazing
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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