I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
