I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
So i learned you can't hair-of-a-dog jaeger hangovers.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I'm kind of pissed I'm not hungover, that means I could have totally drank more last night.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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