found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Randomize
