Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
he said "be careful" then handed me a cheezit...
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
We need to get me chipped asap
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Randomize
