just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
please come get me his dick is out. i'm sitting on his couch and his dick is out. come now
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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