Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
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