So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
tonight lets celebrate not being married
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
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