Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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