Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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