Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
