After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
You are the jesus of drinking
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
