He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
he fucked my hip out of place.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Damn you are the highwater mark of the naked women in my life. Like idk what lined up but yeah.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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