She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
So I put about 15 worms in the cuervo bottle. I don't think that's how it works but I feel like hallucinating by 11am
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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