no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
you know it's gonna be a good 4/20 when you start saving up for it in january.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Dear sober self, your keys are on the table in front of you the only way your typing this is with autocorrect goodnight love you
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
