Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Randomize
