we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
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