so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Went to bed in my room fully clothed, woke up naked in the kitchen with the dog looking unamused.
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