Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
