We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
Dude I'm pretty sure everyone in my office knows I fucked our boss...can I ask for anything better?
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
Randomize
