he wants to bone in the snuggie
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
You kept screaming how great you were at drawing poptarts and you insisted on drawing them all over my forearm
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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