yeah. you were just sitting there watching transformers, caressing your toaster.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
