where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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