gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
