we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
The bruises are from paintball. The money is from me being awesome
The penis is a tricky weapon to use. When using it as leverage you have to make it seem emotional. I'd rather use it as a club sometimes.
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
oh and apparently my boobs are named "have no fear" and "plenty o'beer"
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
