I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Why am I getting texts saying are you ready for this butthole? Help
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
she is legit trying to fuck me to death between her and work i haven't slept in 3 days and have at least 16 hours to go before sleep is a possibility. can i crash at your place she doesnt know where you live
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