you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
Why the fuck is there a picture of us jumping a girl that's wearing my chicken mask?
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
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