He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
I'm starting to think my role in the world is to inject batshit crazy, mentally unbalanced chicks with a dose of normal sperm.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
