my friend just told me "I dunno what u r doing but keep doing it cuz it makes u look fabulous"
LOL that's cool. Guess u r gonna have to keep doing me
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
