ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
According to my snapchat story, I tore a fake wig off a security guard and ran away with it.
Accidentally donated half a joint to Kiwanis with the spare change from my car's ashtray. I hope those kids appreciate it.
Randomize
