Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
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